My Immortal Drinking Game!
by Nameless Monster
Summary: For those of you that aren't aware of My Immortal it's the most horrible fan fiction ever written. And for those are you who are aware of it this is a drinking game invented to make your time reading the hannis abomination more enjoyable.


_**I warn you; play this at your own risk. You will not make it to the half-way point and will get hopelessly drunk. Possible alcohol poisonng may follow. Here's the link to the fic. The original had been taken down but reposted by this author specifically for this purpose and others. I'd say drink responsibly but I don't think this possible given this game. Make sure you thank the person who reposted it so we can continue having good laughs. Enjoy the hangovers and possible vomittng, guys! **_

_** ~Wilder**_

_**.net/s/7302108/1/My_Immortal_The_Original_Crap**_

**_Drinking Game Rules_**

Take a shot each time there's an author's note. Take a shot with every bad pun, two if followed by 'geddit'.

Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe the clothing or makeup, two if it's a boy's makeup. Take a shot whenever fishnets are mentioned.

Take a shot each time a band is mentioned, two if they are going to attend a concert.

Take a shot every time preps (or Hillary Duff) are insulted or are flaming again. Take a shot each time Ebony gives somebody the "middle finger".

Take a shot for every use of 'f#$', '666', or 'depressed/depressing/etc.'. Take a shot whenever someone slits their wrists or cries tears of blood.

Take a shot for every overly-long, dramatic pause, as in, "It was... X!"

Take a shot every time Ebony has sex. Take a shot every time she comments on how hot someone looks, two if it's a band member. Take a shot whenever she refers to genitalia.

Take a shot every time Ebony "frenches" someone.

Two shots whenever she does so "passively".

Take a shot each time Ebony has sex.

Take two shots each time said sex gets interrupted.

Take two shots each time characters have sex without getting naked first.

Take a shot every time the word "goffik" or its variants are used.

Take a shot each time Ebony's name gets misspelled.

How can we possibly tell!

Then take one for every different spelling.

Take a shot each time a name from the Harry Potter books gets misspelled.

Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe clothing.

Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe someone's makeup.

Two shots if it's a boy's makeup.

Take a shot each time an emo band gets mentioned.

Take two shots each time an actual goth band gets mentioned. Remember, emo is not goth! In fact, most emo bands are actually quite "preppy".

Come to think of it, take a shot every time preps—and Hilary Duff—are insulted.

Take another shot when the "prepz" are flaming again.

Take a shot every time My Chemical Romance is raped mercilessly.

And take a shot every time she comments on how hot a band member looks.

Or how hot anyone looks.

Or when she compares a character to a member of a goffik band.

Two shots if you can't tell who it is because they've gotten their name misspelled or confused with another character's.

Take a shot every time the cast goes to attend a concert of a "goffik" band.

Take two shots if it's not really the band that's playing, but really "Volxemort and the Death Dealers".

Take two shots every time Draco runs after Ebony naked.

Take a shot each time the word "fishnets" is mentioned.

Take a shot with every bad pun.

Take two shots with every non-pun that is followed with "geddit".

Take a shot every time the word "black", its variants or misspellings is used.

Take a shot every time a long word is rendered as a similar-looking word spelled correctly.

Take two shots if this turns into an unintentional censorship, such as when "masturbating" becomes "masticating".

Take two shots when that similar word spelled correctly is actually a harder word, spelled correctly. See: Bombodil, Azerbaijan.

Take a shot each time Ebony gives somebody the "middle finger".

Take a shot every time Ebony then stops to describe how she painted her fingernail during giving the finger.

Take three shots every time Tara spells a five-letter-plus word correctly, without changing the intended meaning, after chapter 16.

Take two shots every time Tara threatens not to update.

Take a shit every time Tara accidentally spells a normal word as a swear word. (the best examples are Minister for Magic Cornelia Fuck, and Draco watching the film Hoes of Wax)

Take a sip every time the word fuck is used. That includes misspellings of the word, and abbreviations of the it (EX: OMFG, WTF, OMFFG).

No, this one can't be used. You'll be dead within the first few chapters.

You'd already be dead in the FIRST chapter if you followed half of the preceding rules here.

You'd be dead by the first paragraph if you followed the rules...

You'd be dead if you followed the rules with water.

Take a shot every time someone slits their wrists.

And two shots if someone silts their ristz

Take a shot every time Tara uses the word 'depressed' or its variants.

Take a shot each time suicide is mentioned.

Take a shot each time there's an author's note.

Take two shots for every time the author's note involves the author threatening to self-mutilate in some way.

Take a shot each time someone makes a dramatic entrance (remember, Rule of Perception).

Take a shot for the adverbs "sexily", "seductively" and "suicidally". (Two shots if the word is spelled correctly)

Take two shots for the adverbs "angrily" and "sadly". And, yes, "sandly" counts as "sadly".

Three shots if the actions being described do not fit the adverb (i.e., Draco "crying sexily," etc.)

Take four shots every time two entirely contradictory adverbs are used to describe the same action (i.e., B'loody Mary shaking her head "energetically lethargically")

Take a shot everytime Tara says "da" instead of "the".

You would be dead before you got halfway though.

Take a shot for each Freudian Slip where Ebony is accidentally referred to as Tara.

In other words, take a shot just about any time Ebony is mentioned.

Take a shot each time somebody cries.

Sip a Bloody Mary each time someone cries tears of blood.

Down the Bloody Mary every time Ebony slits her wrists.

Take two shots if she drinks the blood.

Take a shot everytime she refers to her "Thingy" or her "you-know-what".

Down a Bloody Mary every time Herm... er, I mean "B'loody Mary Smith" is mentioned.

Drink the whole bottle if anything happens that actually makes any sense in the Potter Verse or in the real world.

Well, you're in no danger there.

Take a shot every time we have an overly long Dramatic Pause, as in " It was... Dumbledore!"

Even better, take a shot for each set of ellipses.

Take a shot for every time it is snowing and raining at the same time

Take a shot for every '666.'

Take a shot for every time Tara mentions "Raven".

Take a shot every time Tara actually names a chapter.

Take a shot every time anyone wears leather.

Take a shot every time you see "Satanist" or any variation of it.

Take a shot every time Tara improperly uses a japanese word.

Take a shot every time Tara says "and everything" or "and stuff."

Take a shot every time there is a 1 where there should be a !

Take a shot every time a Harry Potter character goes by a different name, not including misspells of their real name.

Take a shot every time a character that was supposed to be dead comes on the scene.

Take a shot every time a gun is mentioned.

Take two if the gun is fired and kills no one.

Take a shot every time someone is called a "bich," or any variant.

Two shots if it's a compliment.

Take a shot every time someone is out of character

Finish your drink every time a "Harry Potter" character is actually in character.

Take a shot every time she uses the word anyway


End file.
